A long conversation

I once told pple that I don't like becoming a teacher. Not that I detest the job - in fact, I quite enjoy teaching - I just don't like marking scripts & looking at undecipherable handwritings. I left CRush wanting to be in animation. I thot it was easy for me to finish a 3D animation project in one month. But I realised I don't have the luxury of time for that. And of course, I have a lot of things on my mind. I thot I could cope; but I couldn't. My first project was rejected. I didn't like it; my reviewers didn't like it. I had no inspiration. What followed was a period of unemployment, searching and exploration. I spent 3 months doing my SOL 3 project, another few months toiling at You Deide while trying to date a lady and grow my cell gp at the same time. Life was really tough. I discovered that if I don't find a job, very soon I'll become a financial burden to my family. That was one aspect I didn't consider very carefully while pursuing my dream. I attended some interviews and finally a door to teaching was opened for me. I was thankful for it; and it did give me some break from the frustration i was in. So i spent a couple of months at Catholic High while waiting for news from NIE. Not that I plan to forsake my dream, but since I've been well trained and experienced and wanted to continue engaging the youth, I thot that was something I can take up (for a season?) so that I have financial stability before I plan further. There were, of course, issues to deal with and I was greatly disturbed by some unexpected confrontation yesterday. I wanted to say I had a bad experience, becus I was completely unprepared for some questions that I don't really want to answer. I don't want to answer becuz there're issues I still haven resolve, and its very irritating to talk abt things when u're in the process of making up ur mind. It's like, you know, someone pressing u for an answer when you're on your way to getting the answer but the irritating voice doesn't go away. Anyway, after that confrontation, I learnt that I wouldn't do the same thing to someone else. And I decided to talk to ah-pa to help me sort thru the confusion. Trust me, I was deeply confused. But thank God for ah-pa, I feel much better now that he's given me assurance. He taught me that pursuing our dreams doesn't necessarily mean we had to be in that line or in that job. It doesn't mean that we completely ignore logic and wisdom in the process. There are ways to achieve things we want in life and use them for God's glory. I was very comforted. I was comforted becuz I know forsaking NIE & going back to insecurity is something that doesn't sound right at all at this point of time. And I learnt to give thanks - for the confrontation, the frustration, and the screw-up along the way - as it proves to me the concern God has on my life and my dream. Thank you Lord.

-ROAR