Who Am I?

Who Am I- Casting Crowns

Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.

Pre-chorus:
Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.

Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again.
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.
I am yours.
Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
'Cause I am yours.
I am yours.



i wanna thank God for bringing me to my cousin's church camp cos the theme was "who am i".
and they played this song for worship and it really meant smth to me cos it really serves as a reminder of God's love for us and tt makes us someone special.
another thing to thank God for abt the camp was tt i made alot of new frens and to be able to see ppl around the same age as me rise up as leaders for God as well.

anw, im here to talk abt my trip to israel and egypt for 2 weeks.

it was, in many ways, a bittersweet memory now.

sweet because i learnt so many things, met so many cool and nice ppl, grew so much closer to God's word. reading the bible will nvr be the same for me again. the bible really comes alive now.

well. my family went with this tour grp made up of ppl from different churches led by dr quek who is this ex-pastor who has been leading grps to israel every year for the past 40 years or smth. he studied hebrew in israel during his younger days and really knows his stuff abt the bible land.

coming from a more charismatic church, i guess for me it really teaches me how impt the bible is and how impt it is to hide it in our hearts. many times we overlook the fact tt knowing the bible is as impt as feeling God.


anw, we 1st went to egypt.
there are a few words tt come to mind when egypt is mentioned to me now: disaster, chaos, dirty, poverty.
it's by far the most dirty place i've ever seen by far. garbage piles in the rivers and on the sides of the roads like no ones' business. the ppl are really poor, a shadow of their great ancestors who built the awesome pyramids which we visited.
usually in s'pore, i like to sit on the side closer to the side walk cos seeing ppl and buildings are more interesting den seeing trees and cars. in egypt, i like sitting on the side farther away from the side walk. why? its free entertainment. really! it's like watching an action cum comedy movie. like the tour guide, who probably just got married at this pt of time, said, this is how to cross a road in egypt: look left look right, close your eyes, walk across the road and pray.
traffic is a joke. ppl cross the road at peak hours as if they own the road and all the vehicles have to stop for them. end result is lots of honking and chaos. i even saw a car reversing in the wrong direction in thick traffic and another guy stopping his car in the middle of the road to check his engine.
there are no traffic lights in egypt. tt explains alot alright.
ppl board and jump off buses even when the bus is moving and not at a bus stop.
once this van packed with ppl came next to our coach. there were like 6 guys sitting ON TOP of the van..like on the roof. they were damn funny. pretending to row the boat and all. and there was another guy hanging on to the side. my bro even told me he saw a family of 5 fit onto a single scooter. how ridiculous is tt?!

with tt, i dont think u shd ever go to egypt unless its for tourism. i for one will nvr go back unless i've been called to. the atmosphere is just depressing and unfriendly. oh, and u have to pay for water too cos clean water is like so scarce there.

on to israel, it was in stark contrast to egypt. much cleaner, much more developed, and the ppl seemed to be nicer. but nevertheless, there were still cons to the pros.
i just wanna summarize everything i've learnt and been thru.
these are some of the places i've been:
bethlehem, jerusalem(soloman's temple, garden tomb), jericho, golan heights, paul's prison at herod's palace next to the mediterranean sea, river jordan, meddigo(armageddon), galilee, nazareth, mt of beatitudes, bet'shean, dead sea, upper room(last supper), mt of olives, masada, qumran(dead sea scrolls).

it's quite sad really to here to story of israel. the holocost(is tt how u spell it?) museum is just an example. it's abt how the nazis exterminated so many jews. going thru it just leaves u mentally and emotionally exhausted, but the end of the museum was really smth special. u leave the musuem via this big platform built on the edge of the rocky terrain overlooking the city and we left it during sunset. u can imagine wad a sight it was. after all the tragedy in israel's history, there is hope.
i do believe God's chosen ppl have smth to be proud of. they've overcome adversity at the highest level regularly in their history owing to their resilience and their ever-amazing God.

then there's the sad part of religious faith. did u know almost all the jews arent christians?
christian jews have to call themselves mesianic jews and only form 0.1% of the population. most of the jews only believe in the old testament and are still waiting for the messiah to come. they look down on christians in their midst and persecute them. u cld even say the muslims treat them better den the jews. to most of the jews, u cant be a christian jew. for them it's just unimaginable. for them it's like being a christian muslim, totally contradictory.
most of the jews who believe in christ arent allowed to buy property and are isolated by the rest of the community. as a result, they are forced to leave israel simply cos they cant survive in a community without business and without a chance to make a living.
with the mesianic jews leaving, the muslims enter.
it's heart breaking to know tt God's chosen ppl dont believe in His son, and those who do are being chased out of their own promised land, and another faith is taking over.

knowing it is one thing, experiencing it is another. i experienced it.
i experienced wad has become of bethlehem.
the birth place of jesus tt sounded so lovely and cosy in the bible and in the christmas carols tt we sing of has been turned into a shrine by the roman catholics. it's disgusting. they built altars there and seem to worship the place instead of God.

i experienced wad has become of soloman's temple and jerusalem.
jerusalem is overrun with muslims tt build their temples all over the place, including in soloman's temple. their prayers sound thru the entire city.
im not like against the muslims or anything, everyone has his own right to believe in wad he wants to believe in. tt's gotta be respected. but to know tt God is real and see these things happen is really sad.
and the jews who are supposed to defend the serenity of their country are too busy caught up in their rituals. u go to the wailing or western wall, the only original wall left of soloman's temple and u see ppl praying at the wall. sometimes u wonder if they're praying TO the wall.

but u cant help but feel for them. i've heard tt most jews who dont believe in jesus dont even know the whole story abt the gospel and stuff.
i guess tt really stirs up tt desire in me tt we've gotta pray for the jews and for israel. tt they'll come to see things from a different point of view.
we've also really gotta support the christian jews in our prayers. we really dont want to see the last of them forced out of their rightful place with subtle persecution.

but with all the unpleasant things, plus conflict with neighbouring countries which i haven't even talked abt, i have really fond memories of israel and of the hope tt still exists in this screwed up world.
i'll always rmb the fun and laughter with fellow brothers and sisters in christ who've come together from different backgrounds to learn more abt God, waking up at 6am for morning services next to the beautiful sea of galilee, getting a rededication service in the jordan river with real doves around, all the tels of great history piled up one on top of another, the little boy called gabriel who stuck to me cos he found me fun to be with, the night in a small town in the middle of the desert next to the warm fireplace which just felt so right, sitting in the coach and watching the breathtaking sight of an orange moon hovering just above the city of jerusalem, floating in the dead sea together, singing those beautiful hymns in the equally beautiful synagouges and churches, watching the sun set at the ruins of herod the great's palace into the horizon of the mediterranean sea, the pride and vastness of the plains surrounding meddigo where the final battle will take place, walking with my brother, the 2 girls amanda and abigail who were very nice ppl, gabriel and dr quek in a valley similar to tt of the grand canyon, as the sun set over the mountains of a national park, the lord's supper and service we took at the garden tomb of jesus which was very very emotional before i met ps eugene and ppl from our tribe like ee jay, julie and mirabel, looking up at the millions of stars so clear in the quietness of a christian "resort" if tt's wad they call it with the flickering lights of jerusalem in the distance.

tt was long. haha. i guess sometimes we become so emotionally attached to a place and ppl we dont even know well cos we simply spent so much time together at these so many places which hold so much meaning in the roots of our faith. this is one trip tt certainly made me feel this way.
esp after our sharings of our reflections on the bus on the last day of our stay in israel did i feel tt i wish it cld last forever. u know, just being close to God in some faraway land where the pressures and headaches of the busy life singapore brings cant reach.
the calmness like tt of the sea of galilee was definitely too good to last eh?
as we left for the airport in tel aviv it was drizzling and the rainbow over the sea along the road certainly fitted the bittersweet mood.

there are certainly too many things we take forgranted and thus too many things to thank God for. freedom is one of those things. we have the freedom here in s'pore to worship God and go to church and to share the gospel without the fear of persecution. not everyone has to chance to do so. our fellow brothers and sisters in some parts of the world are suffering and we dont even know abt it. quite sad isnt it? so pls rmb to pray for them.
we also take food and water forgranted. in israel u eat bread everyday. and water is also scarce.
the poverty and terrible state of egypt also taught me not to take our luxurious life in s'pore as smth easy to come by.

perhaps the most impt things i wanna thank God for is the chance to experience all this 1st hand, and definitely the ppl who had been called by God in israel's history to stand up and be counted for. those sung and unsung heroes alike whose faith brought them to make sacrifices for the glory of God. faith like tt of paul's. commitment like tt of steven, stoned for his faith outside the lion gate of the old jerusalem. jesus' love by dying on the cross for his ppl and fellow jews who still dont believe in him today. and for all those ppl whom i've met in israel who choose to stay and fight in the hope tt God's revival will fall on israel once again, like those christian ppl from poland i think who came and built the christian "resort" tt we stayed in with their own bare hands cos they felt bad tt the 8 of the jews were sent to germany during hitler's rein and nvr returned, for the christian guy who bought over the garden tomb of jesus because he cld not bear to see it be turned into a shrine by the roman catholics or turned into a temple by the muslims but instead maintained it as a beautiful garden where christians from all over the world can come to worship jesus. i have to say, God's presence there is amazing. lastly, for ps quek who diligently brings ppl to israel every year even at such an old age to educate them abt the bible land and to help the christians esp in the tourism industry of israel to earn a living.

with so many ppl doing so much for His cause, i think we shdnt just sit back and enjoy the fruits of their hardwork and dedication. everyone of these ppl have found their calling in the Lord.
and tt brings me back to the qn: who am i?

if there's 1 thing i take away from this trip, it's tt it is my duty and my responsibility as a child of God to nvr let go of His promises and to always give all i can possibly can give to the cause.
i pray tt all those who havent experienced the "israel" experience will have a chance to do so one day cos it's really eye-opening and life-changing.

your's faithfully,
anthony